Hey, Tom Hanks!

Want to walk on the moon? NASA says you'll be too old, and that you're too tall to go. Which is really uncool on their part, considering all the great PR you've done for them over the years.

But you know what? You're wealthy, you know people. I'll bet you could talk to some people and get something done about that. I even know of a proposed launch system that will subject people to minimum stress on liftoff. We'll get your aged bones up there in comfort and style.

And Jack? You want to be a part of the next moon mission? Good luck with that. What I said above applies to you, as well.