Don't trifle with The Man - he'll treat you with kid gloves

Sweet thorny-headed Jesus;

Six of the 13 teenagers arrested after a boozy party that trashed a Haddonfield home while its residents were away struck plea-bargain deals yesterday that allowed them a year's probation..

We're sorry. Really. Cross our hearts, we won't do that again.

The party house sustained about $18,000 in damage. Youths defecated on a Steinway grand piano, ejaculated onto stuffed animals, and sprayed a urine-filled Super Soaker water gun at upholstered furniture.

In yesterday's deal, four of the teens pleaded guilty to criminal mischief and two to trespassing.

All escaped detention, unless they get into other trouble with the law or with drugs or alcohol in the next year. If they stay out of trouble, the charges will be dismissed.

Despite the heavy damage, DiCamillo ordered the 10 youths who have pleaded guilty only to pay a combined total of $750, the amount that the victim's insurance did not cover.

Golly, Judge DiCamillo, that will teach 'em.

DiCamillo told the defendants not to bother the family and to tell their friends.

"Go tell everyone. Leave this family alone," DiCamillo said. "They've been harmed enough."

I am certain the little darlings are quaking in their boots and will certainly pass the Word that The Man is to be feared and obeyed. 'Cause you certainly showed them that The Laws are not to be trifled with.

Cross Posted to The Daily Brief.