Friday, May 26, 2006


From TCS
America: Well, that sounds reasonable. I'm sure that we can work out some kind of AAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH! Oh, the mind-bending, excruciating horror! It's like a pair of ravenous earthworms are burrowing tunnels of agony in my lower abdomen! In the name of God, why?

Iran: It was a bizarre, freakish accident.

America: No, it wasn't! The best-selling book in your country is "Protocols of the Elders of Kicking America in the Crotch!" You've given dozens if not hundreds of speeches on the religious necessity of planting your foot in America's gonads! You gave a presentation at the last International Islamic Conference on "Kicking America in the Crotch: Strategic and Economic Considerations!" This was no accident!

Iran: Oh, pish-tosh. Surely you realize that we espouse that kind of rabid pro-crotch-kicking rhetoric to appease the crotch-kicking masses? We may seem like deranged religious fanatics in public, but in private we're humane, civilized men who enjoy fine literature, good music, and the occasional stoning of homosexuals and liberal dissidents. We all want the same things: peace, prosperity, a cessation of hunger and want, total submission of the world to the teachings of Allah...

America: We don't want that!

Iran: Whatever.

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