The Elevator Safety and Economic Opportunity Act of 2009

Retrovertical transportation, to get our economy moving up again.

I know a way to create at least a million jobs, almost immediately, at no government expense whatsoever.

Ban the automatic operation of elevators.

The Elevator Safety and Economic Opportunity Act of 2009 will preempt state regulation of elevators and will require that after March 1, 2009, no elevator shall carry passengers without being under the exclusive control of a qualified and certified elevator operator. How many jobs will this create? Well, in the early 1950s, prior to the widespread use of automatic-elevator technology, there were something like 500,000 people employed as elevator operators. There are a lot more buildings and a lot more elevators now than there were then–surely, we can count on a million jobs for the operators.

As they say, read the whole thing.  And do not show this post to a legislator. They won't get the joke and they'll make it a reality so fast it would make your head spin.