System Administrator's Law of Systems Maintenance

Given maintenance that is tedious, invasive, time consuming and difficult to schedule:

If you are told a system will be out of service next week and you defer critical maintenance, it will never go out of service.

If you are told a system will be out of service next week and you perform critical maintenance it will go out of service the day after your maintenance is complete.

 

Cell Phone Tool

Got some email with disturbing pictures, an explanation and a screed against using cell phones.

Do you see the motorcycle?

Now do you see it?

Wow.

[long ranty text excised]

Wake up people , Stop talking on Cell phones and Texting while trying to drive. Put your Cell phone in the back seat !!!

If my wife or sister had been killed in this car, this email would piss me off. But they were not so I am only mildly irked.

1. The anonymous author uses it to score points about cell phones.

2. Which, God knows, I am not advocating that you use while driving.

3. They made a deliberate assumption [1] about the cause of the accident while ignoring the real cause which is

4. Regardless of how much attention the person at the wheel was paying to conditions the cause of the accident was the tool who was whacking along at 85 MPH on a street where cross traffic was allowed. At 124 fps you might have about three seconds to react, and that's only if you're paying attention 100 yards in front of you and not looking at your speedometer or thinking about getting laid.

5. And anyway the whole thing was borrowed from a Swedish crash where

5a. The biker was rocketing along at 155 MPH.

5b. Nobody wrote anything about cell phones. At all. Because the fault was clearly with the operator of the bike.

Someone made shit up to prove a point. Which undermines their entire argument. Well done.

[1] Lied.

My boys are cool

Older Monkey: Hey, be careful with her around company - not everyone likes snakes.

Younger Monkey: How could anyone not like snakes?


I love my boys.

Monastic quiet

For reasons we need not go into here [1] Pasty and the Little Monkey are in Chicago.

I am abed with many, many, things to do today.  The character of the house has changed by the seemingly simple act of removing a spouse and a loud, energetic child.

It is monastically quiet.

I am reluctant to break the quiet.  It will be throwing a rock into a still koi pond.

I am hungry and a zesty bowl of oatmeal and a variety of tasks, chores, and pleasures await.

But not just yet.

[1] A seminar on effective sales strategies: she is really deep-diving into this Avon stuff.  Speaking of which you should really check out her Avon site.

Also she's going to hook up with her Chicago-based cousin later today and the Great Googly Moogly only knows what shenanigans they'll be up to.

Path

Previously

Yes it is another test

My result for What's Your Leisure Suit? Test...

The Workaholic

30% Business Suit

Free time? Right. You enjoy the hustle and bustle of your type A personality. Everything in has it's place and should be in it's place. You like financial security and work hard so that you can enjoy retirement. Not that you'll ever really retire. You thrive on the thrill of success.

You are the type that knows they can have it all and works to get it. You aren't afraid of getting your hands a little dirty either. Whatever it takes to get it done you'll do it. But your free time is usually spent working. You probably even take your laptop on vacation with you just in case.

Take What's Your Leisure Suit? Test at HelloQuizzy

And please, rate the test when you're done, with my thanks.

Semper Fidelis

I am learning how to dance.  Salsa.  With Marissa Garcia and Mike Bassette from Latin Stylz in Oshkosh.

Joe Bob says 'Check 'em out'.

And it is not so bad. I have found out that dance has a lot in common with close order drill.

Well shucks: anyone can learn close order drill.

There are stylized movements.  You can execute, say, Move A but only from Position B.  Everything happens on a beat.  There is a designated leader, and a designated follower.

There are differences:  Things move a bit faster.  The company is more congenial.  And the music sure ain't no 'Semper Fidelis'.

xkcd - Static

http://xkcd.com/649/

I literally laughed out loud.

My wife did not get it.  I explained.  She gave me a sort of pitying look: clearly my sense of humor is far, far, too refined for her to appreciate.

Shut up and shovel

TJIC's got some mad editing skills - he's distilled a somewhat lengthy post into a very readable essence.

http://www.the-spearhead.com/2009/09/29/…

The entire secret of life, of power, of everything, was taught to me when I was a teenager, by a … farmer…

The farmer’s name was “Griff” … I was a “townie” (population 300) and made good money for a teenager as a “hired hand”. One day when I showed up for work he said “We’re going to pick up a new truck.” We got in his car and the entire 40 minute ride to the dealer passed without either of us saying a word: one of those easy comfortable silences that men often use to communicate more than words ever can. We picked up a new 4-wheel drive 3/4 ton pickup and headed back to the farm. When we got back, he pointed to a large gravel pile by the barn and told me to fill the truck bed with gravel and go fill in a hole in the entrance to one of his fields.

I said “But that gravel will ruin the paint on the bed of this brand new truck.” He looked at me silently for about a minute, his expression eloquently saying that I was the worst idiot he’d ever been burdened with having to tolerate in his life. Without saying another word he picked up the shovel and, with a swing that would be the envy of any major league baseball hitter, he swung it around and smacked the side of the truck sending paint chips flying in every direction and leaving a huge dent. He looked at me again with that same “I can’t believe you are such an idiot” look and said: “City boy this is a FARM truck. I didn’t buy it to look pretty, I bought it to DO WORK, same reason I’m payin’ you. Now it ain’t new no more, so shut up and shovel the !@#$-in’ gravel.” Then he turned around and walked off, leaving me to feel foolish and gain wisdom.

No one eats unless someone shuts up and shovels the !@#$-in’ gravel.

Truth, brother.

You can't say that in politics

From Richard Fernandez - a laundry list of politically unspeakable truths by Robert Reich.

•  A solution in Iraq is going to be tough.
•  Treating more sick people will mean younger people will pay more.
•  It’s too expensive to treat older people at the end of their life “so we’re going to let you die”.
•  If we use government to control costs there will be “less innovation” in medical technology and you should not expect to live much longer than your parents.
•  Global warming can only be tackled by a carbon tax which is going to cost you a lot of money.
•  We’re going to have to pay teachers more for quality education — costing you more — but we have to be willing to fire the turkeys despite the unions.
•  Anyone who does an unskilled, repetitive job will lose it in the near future to outsourcing or automation. And there’s nothing anyone can do about it.
•  A minimum wage doesn’t help as much as an earned income tax credit.
•  Helping people at the bottom earn more is going to cost higher income people more money.
•  Medicare will bankrupt the nation unless something is done and will impoverish the youth.
•  The best way to ameliorate global poverty is to do away with farm subsidies.

Dear IRA

You people are embarrassing yourselves.



You think you look hard corps with the firearms and the cammie blouses and the gunfire salute for your dead buddy.  You're fooling yourselves.

He didn't get knocked off fighting the Cause - he hung himself in jail after biffing on his wife. And what with the mismatched pistols and ski-masks you look like what you are - thugs.

The Lesson of State Health-Care Reforms

The major provisions of ObamaCare already have been tried. They've led to increased costs and reduced access to care.

Like participants in a national science fair, state governments have tested variants on most of the major components of the health-care reform plans currently being considered in Congress. The results have been dramatically increased premiums in the individual market, spiraling public health-care costs, and reduced access to care. In other words: The reforms have failed.

Clearing Tabs

A bi-lingual 'danger biting monkeys' sign.  I  .. need .. this.


Going semi-John Galt: Coyote is not investing in growing his business.

To the extent we find opportunities to grow with limited investment, we are pursuing those. But I just cannot put up any more capital in this environment. If I make an investment, how much will the government let me keep? How much are taxes going up (because they certainly are going up)? Inflation simply must be around the corner given the monetary policy this country is pursuing — so will my business be able to raise prices fast enough to keep up with inflation in my inputs?

It's full of stars. And musical!


A Thinking Ape’s Critique of Trans-Simianism (repost)

The following was taken from a cave wall painting in southern Tunisia more than 300,000 years ago. Fossil evidence suggests that the author was of the species Homo erectus.

Tales from the Street Trades

Fred

You probably don’t like cops. Nobody does. Ride with them. See what they see. You’ll get a little perspective. You won’t ike it, but you’ll get it.

Breakfast

Middle Daughter, [1] talking about me: He is so judgmental.

Example?

MD: Like ... he said that a twenty-five year old should have a better job [2] than working at Wendy's. And that if a guy goes to jail that's bad.

Monkeys, in Greek Chorus Mode: He's right!

Ah yes: I am raising them well.

She is right about the judgmental thing. It's a flaw, and I know it.

But she is focused on judgment to the exclusion of mercy and forgiveness.

Which reminded me of the great Lou Reed's "Beginning of a Great Adventure"

It might be fun to have a kid that I could kick around
Create in my own image like a god
I'd raise my own pallbearers to carry me to my grave
And keep me company when I'm a wizened toothless clod

Some gibbering old fool sitting all alone drooling on his shirt
Some senile old fart playing in the dirt
It might be fun to have a kid I could pass something on to
Something better than rage, pain, anger, and hurt

[1] She is 16.
[2] The fellow in question is not a manager, he's working the counter.

Saranghae

This is beautiful.

This morning I was thinking about my Imo Moon Ja. When I was a young girl I thought she was one of the most beautiful people I had ever met. She had the kindest soul and the most upbeat spirit. Yet often times she was sad.

Click to read the rest.

Burning issue of the day

President Obama has won the Nobel Peace Prize. He was nominated - at the latest - mere weeks after the Inauguration.





But don't criticize!

"The Republican Party has thrown in its lot with the terrorists - the Taliban and Hamas this morning - in criticizing the President for receiving the Nobel Peace prize," DNC communications director Brad Woodhouse told POLITICO.

Clearing Tabs

"I think it's clear," Randy said, "that if you are ignorant of a particular subject, that your opinion is completely worthless. If I'm sick, I don't ask a plumber for advice. I go to a doctor. Likewise, if I have questions about the Internet, I will seek opinions from people who know about it."

This was funny.  Al Geddicks (Professor of Sociology at UW - La Crosse) and Michael Corradini (an actual Professor of Nuclear Engineering and Engineering Physics at UW Madison) were on Joy Cardin's program this morning.  I only caught a few minutes of the back and forth, but every time Geddicks came up with facts supporting his anti-nuclear views Corradini quietly knocked him on his ass with actual subject-matter knowledge that sent his facts crawling back into the gutter of pseudo-scientific sludge where they came from.

Very entertaining: my hat is off to whomever invited the light-weight to an adult discussion.



Velociman: Right now Ron Jeremy is reading that and muttering "Bullshit."



I am not sure how a small monument to war dead, in a far off place, that happens to be on public land, runs afoul of this phrase: "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof;"

But if it does, then so do crosses in veteran's cemeteries: public land, nu?

Avon Calling

Need Avon products?

See Donna's current ad on Craig's List.

Or her website.

You can even chat - now how cool is that?

Per FTC guidelines I declare that I have received no monetary compensation for this post.  However I have and will receive smoldering looks and passionate smooches.

They're just enlisted men

Dear Everyone,

Thanks to your generosity the ARRA has provided funding for the following in my fair city

• A 20 hour per week library employee.
• $512,000 for the Adams Street Bridge.
• $500,000 for the reconstruction of West Wisconsin Avenue.
• $1,200,000 for a detention pond on Commerce Court.
• $31,000 to fund a regional crime analyst position.

Thanks everybody!  We sure do appreciate your tax dollars. 

Except ... that money has not yet been spent.  The bridge remains in it's per-ARRA condition, the detention pond is a wet dream, the two employees are un-hired.

So what's going on here? [1]



I suggest that part of the reason for the red-line - reality - to be screaming skyward like an F-15 on afterburner [2] is that the bulk of the ARRA funds are unspent.

Contrary to what 'everyone' was saying, that there were not a whole lot of 'shovel-ready' projects.  The funds are hanging around in limbo not doing anyone a bit of good.[3]

Something jerks mightily on his back: the static line, still attached to the airplane God forbid that American fighting men should be entrusted to pull their own ripcords. He can just imagine the staff meeting where they dreamed up the concept of the static line: "For God's sake, General, they're just enlisted men! As soon as they jump out of the airplane they'll probably start daydreaming about their girlfriends, take a few hits from their pocket flasks, catch forty winks, and before you know it they'll all pile into the ground at a couple of hundred miles an hour!"

I am so, so, glad we have actual professionals handing this stuff so we don't mess it up.


Cross Posted to The Daily Brief.


[1] Altered image gleefully nicked from TJIC.
[2] Warning!  Cheesy 1970s action and adventure music.
[3] They probably are in an account earning interest at some minuscule rate, but one imagine bales of cash stacked up on loading docks and warehoused in around metro D.C. while some serious bureaucratic wrangling goes on.  Good thing money doesn't loose value just sitting around!