Monday, February 05, 2007

Schlock Mercenary's Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates

Go'bless the internet. From the Wikipedia entry for Schlock Mercenary comes "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates", with date the rule appeared in the strip.

1. Pillage, then burn. (2002-02-07, 2003-03-08, 2004-04-04, 2004-07-22)

6. If violence wasn’t your last resort, you failed to resort to enough of it. (2005-03-13)

8. Mockery and derision have their place. Usually, it's on the far side of the airlock. (2002-11-21)

9. Never turn your back on an enemy. (2003-03-08)

12. A soft answer turneth away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way, shoot it in the head. (2002-11-21…notes section)

13. Do unto others. (2003-03-08)

16. Your name is in the mouth of others: be sure it has teeth. (2002-11-21)

27. Don't be afraid to be the first to resort to violence. (2003-03-08)

29. The enemy of my enemy is my enemy's enemy. No more. No less. (2003-03-08, 2003-09-29)

30. A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the further you'll go. (2003-03-08)

31. Only cheaters prosper. (2003-05-11)

34. If you’re leaving scorch-marks, you need a bigger gun. (2004-02-29)

35. That which does not kill you has made a tactical error. (T-shirt sold by author)

36. When the going gets tough, the tough call for close air support. (2003-10-02)

37. There is no "overkill". There is only "open fire" and "I need to reload." (2004-02-23, 2004-04-06, 2004-06-23…partial)

xx. Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Take his fish away and tell him he's lucky just to be alive, and he'll figure out how to catch another one for you to take tomorrow. (2004-04-04, no official rule number given)

xx. Just because it's easy for you doesn't mean it can't be hard on your clients.

Think of it as 'The Prince' in Reader's Digest condensed form.
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