Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Dear Episcopal Church

Dear Episcopal Church,

Gay clergy - hey we can talk about that. We're all grown ups here and things change. Replacing the Stations of The Cross with Millennium Development goals ... well that's a bit much, perhaps, but it's a big inclusive Anglican tent so we'll call it close enough for rock and roll.

But a Clown Eucharist?

I bet they played 'Send in the Clowns' for the processional. On an accordion

What genius thought that one up? What lame-ass priest didn't put his foot down and put a firm stop to the nonsense? Where for the love of Ned was the bishop during all this with his big pointy hat and his long shepherd's crook to clock people on the head and say "stop that, are you people stuck on stupid?"

Didn't anyone in the congregation have the courage to point out that the priest - the guy who stands up the front and sternly leads his flock on the path of the true and righteous - looks like a retard?

Sorry - that's harsh. I apologize to all the people with reduced intelligence; the worst of you on your most terrible day looks about eighteen times as good as a priest dressed up in whiteface and big floppy shoes.

I used to think of the Anglican Church the way I think of the Marines; firm of conviction and true to their ideals. Certain that while there ain't nothing that some Baptist churchs won't do to attract members the Anglicans were above pandering. That you don't do low-church stuff because it's just not what Episcopals do.

Y'all are an embarrassment. Scrub the paint, loose the floppy shoes, put the man of God robes back on and act like a serious religion.
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